"Target Lock on Love" - Gyros at Home

Recipe (printable PDF)

The Night Stalkers #9
EXCERPT:
They had to drop the topic when the door opened and the first round of pizzas arrived. A Greek Gyro sausage pie, a Garlic Lover’s with blackened chicken, and a High Protein Land—which had enough meat to satisfy a grizzly bear, and maybe even a Night Stalker.
Once the waiters were gone, and everyone was groaning with pleasure over their first bites, he picked the tale back up. He’d rather eat; it had been a long time since his last Moose’s Tooth pizza. But Patty deserved her moment in the sun; she’d sure earned it.
“Patty dropped her cargo,” Mick said loudly enough to recapture everyone’s attention. “It smacked down on their ship’s deck and spread everywhere. As soon as the North Koreans recovered from the shock, they were scrabbling about like madmen.”
“Caltrops? Those tetrahedral spike things?” The crew began throwing out guesses.
“Marbles?”
“Vegas topless show fliers?”
“A thousand copies of Playboy?”
“Better!” Patty crowed.
Mick waved his slice of pizza at her for her to take her bow.
“I mean they already knew it was us Americans because they bloody deserved it. So I cleaned out the PX,” Patty said it with her voice dropped into mission-debrief neutral. “We delivered a two-hundred-and-three-pound payload of… Snickers, Almond Joy, Twix, Reese’s—you name it!”
“She gave them a taste of what the West can dish out.”

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Note: I’ve always loved gyros in any form. Mr. D’s in Seattle’s Pike Place Market was one of my favorite lunch stops, would still be if we hadn’t moved away. But making them at home, well, it turned out to be a sinch.
Prep time: 15 minutes (twice) / Cook time: 1 hour / Total time: 1-1/2 hours
Serves 4-6
The Meat

• 2 lbs. of a mix of ground: beef, lamb, or pork (or chicken or even turkey in a ratio to match your taste buds)
• 1 lg. onion – chopped into 1” chunks
• 6 cloves garlic – rough chopped
• Spice mix (I found a lot of variations, we tested and liked this one, be fearless with your flavors, ramp it up, not down):
  • 1 Tbsp. dried marjoram
  • 1 Tbsp. dried oregano
  • 2 tsp. dried crushed rosemary (powder, not needles)
  • 2 tsp. dried thyme
  • 1 Tbsp. Kosher salt
  • 2 tsp black pepper

The Fixings

• Tzatziki (purchased or mix together):
  • 1 med. cucumber (unpeeled works fine) – Split in half and scoop out seeds, grate (coarse holes on box grater), then sprinkle with salt in a colander. Press with a bowl filled with a couple of heavy cans from the pantry for 1/2 hour to squeeze out liquid. Then drain and squeeze in towel.
  • 8 oz. Greek yogurt
  • 2 tsp. fine-minced garlic
  • 1 Tbsp. olive oil
  • Refrigerate for 2+ hours
• Pita bread
• Lettuce
• Tomato – sliced
• Red onion – slivered
• Feta cheese, gorgonzola, or any sharp cheese crumbles
• French fries (optional). In Greece they’re hot (nice), but in the US they’re usually served cold (ick on the cold ones, just sayin’).

The Gyro Meat

1. Start the oven at 325° F.
2. Prep a loaf pan – lined with aluminum foil, and set in a larger pan to make a water bath (see photo).
3. Put 1-2 quarts of water on to boil.
4. Put onion and garlic into a food processor. Puree into a smooth (watery) paste.
5. Squeeze in a towel or lay out on a doubled paper towel and press down with another doubled paper towel to remove as much liquid as possible. Return to the food processor.
6. Add meat and spice mix to the food processor. Blend until a smooth paste is formed. (<1 minute)
7. Put into loaf pan and press down hard to remove air bubbles.
8. Cover with foil.
9. Place loaf pan in larger pan and pop into the oven. Pour the boiling water from Step 3 into the larger pan.
10. Bake 1 hour or until it tests at 165° F.

The Eating

1. Slice the meat as thin as you can. An electric knife is supposed to be the best (we don’t have one). A bread knife worked great, or any sharp knife coated with a little water or oil to keep it from sticking to the meat.
2. Key step: Fry the meat in a lightly oiled pan over medium-high heat for 1–2 minutes each side to get that nice brown crispiness.
3. Heat pita bread in pairs for 20 seconds in the microwave between damp paper towels. You want warm but pliable.
4. Hold pita in a U-shape (don’t slice or open the pocket, you want the doubled bread). Slather Tzatziki liberally down the spine and a bit spread out across the bread. Sprinkle with cheese crumbles and red onions. Line up from side to side: meat, lettuce, and tomato. Roll into a slightly conical shape, trying to close the bottom as much as possible. Eat outside or over a large dinner plate with plenty of napkins as it is guaranteed to dribble luscious warm yogurt sauce that you’ll be licking off your fingers.

Processed meat packed into pan. (We made 1/2 batch or the loaf would fill the pan.) Note the tray for the water bath beneath.	All the fixings are ready.
Add some crispy brownness to the meat.	Built.
Time to get messy! (and add some more Tzatziki)

Recipe (printable PDF)