#50 - Cruise Ships

While I never expected to go on a cruise in my life, I finally did so in 2016. Mostly because my wife found a knitting class aboard that she wanted to take, which also visited places we both wanted to see (Norway, Shetland Islands, and Scotland, which we love but hadn't been to in 15 years). The trip went fine, but we were both convinced that one cruise in a lifetime was enough for us. We weren't the party crowd, the bar crowd, the theater crowd, or the wacky shore excursion crowd. Enough for us. Done.

To give you a feel for my general thoughts about that boat:

• I had my Delta Force team shoot the crap out of the Cigar Bar aboard one ship, in Delta Force #3, Wild Justice.
• I had my mixed Night Stalker / SEAL Team 6 folks utterly despise another ship when they had to go undercover on it in, Night Stalkers #10, Target of Mine.

Then in 2024, she stumbled on another knitting tour, also aboard a boat, a very different kind of boat. Who knew there were different kinds of boats. Let's just say it was lovely!

I treated that boat somewhat more kindly:

• By crashlanding a helicopter aboard (that was in great trouble) in the second story in my Night Stalkers Reloaded collection.
• And now in my latest novel, I went belowdecks to cook up a thriller—literally. Launching June 1, Knife's Edge is set almost entirely aboard ship.

So, for non-cruisers who follow NerdGuy, I thought that I'd share a few insights about these giant beasts of the sea.

Names Matter

These cruise lines are not named randomly. I'd just never given it much thought.

• Princess, Royal Carribean - they treat you like one. Very high service.
• Disney - we're all about family.
• Carnival - parties and outings and things to do and entertain.
• Crystal, Regent, Silversea - luxury folks
• Holland America - an older crowd who still wants to go places and do things, but they want the cruising experience too: on-board cooking demos, theater, 24-hour buffets, fine dining restaurants... (Kids will be bored to tears)
• There are another dozen major players. Many are billed as floating resorts that you don't need to leave for the entire cruise (big ships with everything you could want —supposedly—already aboard)

Size Matters

There are many small cruise companies for bopping around the Med or cruising various rivers such as the Danube. But most cruise ships, when we think of oceangoing vessels, start in the 1,500-passenger range and currently top out at 7,500 (which is larger than most towns I've lived in).

The simple version is that the 2,500-passenger ones will show 5-6 decks above the hull (with a couple of decks of cheap suites below that line, which appear as round portals that don't open). Crew and machinery decks are below that and may not even have portholes. Other cheap suites are in the interior with no windows. The big boats run 10-12 decks above the hull. They are so big that many have a hollow-middle so that interior suites do have windows facing onto whatever version of an interior that company is known for. Exteriors are getting more creative too, but that's beyond my scope here.

Size Matters - Part 2

So, why did we dislike that first cruise but like the second? The first we were but a tiny part of a 2,000-person cruise ship. They offered 10-20 different outings in each port, but the big deal was the on-board entertainment. If my wife hadn't been connected to the knitting group, we would have been wholly cast adrift with no connections to anything at all.

Enter the truly small cruise ship. They're often called Expedition-class and carry 1-200 passengers. These ships aren't little river or coastal cruisers; they're tough boats that can ride out brutal storms at sea if caught. They aren't hitting the big cities that can absorb 5, 10, 20-thousand people at a time off the big ships. 

Because the entertainment isn't on-board these vessels, they head more interesting places. Also, to smaller places the big ships can't go. Most of these will have a couple of distinct themes: birding, cultural, historic, or scenic. Experts aboard will offer lectures on history or science that are tied to each stop.

And there is a certain sense of camaraderie possible. My wife and I are both very introverted, but we did make friends (duration-of-voyage friends, but still people we looked forward to dining with or meeting ashore).

While simultaneously researching Knife's Edge and a future project, I learned what happens when big cruise ships go to number-ashore limited places like Antarctica. For environmental reasons, they have to send people ashore in very small groups. A big ship cruise must limit each group's time ashore so that everyone has a chance. Or they stay longer in each place in order to cycle all the shore parties through.

On small ships, the entire passenger number is still below the limits for many places. This allows everyone to go ashore and be there longer. I'm not saying this is better, but the style certainly fits us better.

Meanwhile, NerdGuy was fascinated by all the aspects of this world that he'd never given any prior thought to.